It's Showtime!

As Joe Gideon said, "It's show time, folks." That was Roy Scheider playing a Bob Fosse character in a movie written by (and about) and directed by Bob Fosse. One look in the bathroom mirror, downing a handfull of benzedrine, eyes sparkling, and yes, "It's shooooow time, folks!"

Well, we're here. the presidential primaries start in about three weeks. Let's see who's running:

Hillary. Nope. I'd love to see a woman president, but not her. She's a communist. And, she doesn't have any leadership experience. This is the end of the first year of her second term as senator from New York. She's authored nothing of note. She's been the quintissential back bencher. What has she managed/overseen/run?

Obama. Maybe. A Chicago pol who mixed it up downstate before going to Washington. Maybe he's got the toughness underneath the charm. Let him duke it out during the presidential campaign to see what he's made of.

Edwards. Not a chance. He's a personal-injury lawyer for God's sake! Doesn't that make your stomach churn? C'mon, the guy's way too pretty, and knows it. Empty suit.

Richardson. Probably. Lot's of experience. Solid. Good ideas. Not too weird. As a Whig, I probably wouldn't vote for him, but he'd be okay.

Romney. Uh-uh. I don't care what they say, too many folks think it's a cult. Evangelicals and fundamentalists across the country are lined up against this guy. Too bad, too. He's probably the best of the lot. Straight middle-of-the-road with executive experience. Smart. Big smart. Decent sort with a good family. Down in the hookworm belt, though, they'd rather see Satan elected.

Giuliani. Naaaaah. Too much mob. Too much Noooo Yahk City. Executive experience, good under pressure. But...he's dirty. Too many connections. Too many problems. The social liberalism won't sink him, but the ties to the bad guys will.

Paul/Kucinich. Only if you live on the planet Zorkon 9. Neither one of the fools has a chance. They're almost amusing (and Dennis' wife is hot!). Ron Paul is smart for a doctor, too.

Huckabee. Pleeeeeze. No way. There's a Jimmie Swaggart moment ahead of us, mark my words. Running solely on the Christian Theological Ticket will not get him to president. Nor should it. The guy's an out-of-the-closet big government liberal. His knowledge of foreign policy is about as much as Obama's. Maybe less.

Thompson. In a perfect world, it would be the ticket of Thompson-Duncan Hunter that takes office January 20, 2009. The world is not perfect. Fred doesn't have the fire in his belly. Duncan is too patriotic for today's metrosexual, multicultural, universal citizen of the world. Alas, they will both be footnotes when the history of the decline and fall of this wonderful country is written.

Whom have I left out? Dodd? Biden? Tancredo? Keyes? Gilmore? Buchanan? Jackson? Sharpton? Dogs barking in the night.

Update -- Richardson's swung over into the moonbat camp with Dennis and Ron. He wants to include alternative medicine in a prescription benefit. That's right, get your ginko biloba on the taxpayers' nickel. Last Thursday, after Bhutto was assassinated, Richardson wants to cut off aid to Musharref. It's deja vu all over again -- another protesting pretentious lefty.

What's the frequency, Dan?

Lawyers write stories every day. The stories are homely screeds to extract money. More often than not, they're charmless farragoes of bluster and witless fiction. Usually, they remain unread in a dusty basement file somewhere. Not so today. America's Horse's Ass has sued CBS and it's there for all to see.

Summer is gone

The law school I went to was among the top 2,000 law schools in the nation. But only just. I always thought it was a shame they gave up their profitable aluminum storm window sideline. They eventually got some accreditation from whomever the hell it is that does that sort of thing. It was long after I left, though. Now the school teaches some kind of moony left-wing fuzzy hugging for peace type of crap along with the hard-nosed basics of how to pass the bar exam and get a license. I wonder if they still have the old multi-state answer key. The school has taken on airs. Sadly, because one can only image the horrorific drivel its has-been pedants are spewing onto the wannabe lawyers. Besides that, Bill Lerach may go to jail. What's the world coming to?

I reminisce because September is here, no, it's almost October. The palm fronds are dry and brittle. The dusty wind carries the faint odor of Mexican diesel. The goats are baaing for more $13 a bale alfalfa. They're supposed to keep down the weeds. It hasn't rained in 130 days. There are no weeds. I'm going broke feeding them. Summer is gone.

Global Warming Hoax

In just three weeks it will be Lenin's birthday, and Earth Day. That's one more reason that I'm saddened by this administration. They have finally caved in to the Global Warming Hoax. If I were brighter, maybe I could think up a research project involving the catastrophic warming of western courtrooms and how the CO2 increases in the atmosphere decrease justice dispensed.

Stem Cell Engineering

The Guardian reports that: "A British research team led by the world's leading heart surgeon has grown part of a human heart from stem cells for the first time. If animal trials scheduled for later this year prove successful, replacement tissue could be used in transplants for the hundreds of thousands of people suffering from heart disease within three years."
These are not embryonic stem cells, but adult stem cells. No need to kill kids to get them.

Swearing Cocktail Waitresses

This is rich.

"Viejas (a local Indian casino) now has more than 100 employees with physical or mental impairments – a cook who is legally blind; a switchboard operator with dwarfism; a one-armed janitor; a cocktail waitress with Tourette's syndrome." A cocktail waitress with Tourette's syndrome. Wow, I thought they all had Tourette's.

http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/metro/20070327-9999-1m27disabled.html

This is just too great:

Sewage 'Tsunami' Kills Five in Gaza: An overloaded septic system in Northern Gaza burst, unleashing a “tsunami” which overwhelmed the Bedouin farming village of Umm al-Nasr. Outraged victims opened fire on the Palestinian Interior Minister when he came to inspect the damage. (news.com.au) Thanks to Belmont Club http://fallbackbelmont.blogspot.com/2007/03/sewage-tsunami.html

You gotta give it to the Palestinians. They know how to deal with incompetent government bureaucrats. Blow the suckers away! Right on, Abdullah! By the way, when you mature to the 21st...no make that the 19th century, and can deal rationally with your fellow humans, let us know. We might let you join the community of civilized societies.

Watermelons

The watermelons are green on the outside. They're red inside. Red, as in communist. Or, at least its kissing cousin, fascist. They want you to believe their religion. If you don't, they punish you. The earth is warming. Gaea has been defiled by humankind's sins of carbon gluttony. The world will end! The world will end! If you do not believe in global warming, then, as an apostate, death is the only acceptable punishment. First, you are a "global warming denier". More loathsome than a "holocaust denier". Next, the ad hominum attacks. Senator Inhofe is stupid. Any public official who denies the proven fact of global warming must be crazy. Or stupid. Therefore to deny global warming is stupid. A majority of opinion, a consensus of scientists agree that the earth is warming and humankind's carbon excess is to blame. Oh, my goodness. The barking of the dogs continues.

President Bush Fading - Congress Beneath Contempt

It's true. His "best by" date was probably October 2005. That's when he nominated Harriet Miers for the Supreme Court and lost the support of thinking conservatives. Too often, this administration is seen, correctly, as being clumsy, awkward or just plain inept. It is not just the despicable vermin in the newspapers and network television news that go out of their way to display the incompetence. The administration's dumb moves are obvious to everybody. And, continuous. The fact that the president is inarticulate makes the situation worse. The more dumb moves, the more it seems that they are coming from the top down. How can somebody be so right on the war on islamic fascists and so wrong on immigration?
What about the co-equal legislative branch? A fustercluck. After 12 years as back-benchers, the current leadership is clueless. It's pay-back time. Vengence is everything. Seeing gutless, rum-soaked frauds like Leahy, Kennedy, Durbin and Biden preen for the cameras is sickening. A pox on all of their houses!

The Obligatory "About Me"

There is a three-drink minimum to post a comment here.
Lambert&Butler is a brand of cheap English fags.
I am none of the three.
Homophobic, ethnocentric, and proudly jingoistic.
I am an old, tired, soon-to-be-svelte, bald lawyer who wonders what the hell happened to 1973.
Vent your spleen here. I shall.